Drunk People Are So Boring:

I used to believe that you couldn’t have fun unless drugs and alcohol were involved. I thought people that didn’t do either were the most boring people on the planet, but in the last three and half years of being clean and sober I’ve come to realise the complete opposite is true!

Last night I went to see old Australian rocker, Richard Clapton perform. The show was sold out and full of people “on the piss”. Apart from myself and my friend; we bought a lemon, lime and bitters. Between that and the free tickets, you could say it was a rather cheap night out. Which is just one of the many bonuses of being sober! 

We managed to push our way up near the front, as we always do. Unfortunately, we seemed to be surrounded by a group of really drunk men – grown arse old men. One started to fall backwards as if he was about to do the limbo; his body was permanently stuck on a lean. My friend had to tell him to “stand up straight”. Another decided it was a good idea to flop out his willy-wonka and take a pee right in the middle of the dance floor. How utterly DISGUSTING! And another pushed through us to take up residency right in front of our previously good view of the stage. He waved his arms around like he was spinning plates, knocking and bumping everyone in his way. Absolutely no awareness for anyone that he was physically intruding upon! He started talking to us at one point with his drunken dribble. God, I just can’t stand drunken dribble now that I’m sober! One could say that he was having a “wow of a time” but was he really? Will he even remember the evening when he wakes up with a throbbing headache this morning? I doubt it. 

It seems like an awful waste really – of time and money! You pay for a ticket, fork out heaps of cash to buy enough drinks to get to a point where you lose your inhibitions so that you can “have fun”, only to then spend your time constantly running to the toilet to alleviate all of this liquid (maybe that’s why the guy decided to pee on the dance floor). And then after all of that carefree, sloppy dancing, and meaningless, nonsensical conversation with strangers you wake up in the morning with no memory of “how much fun” you had. That, coupled with the whopping headache and stomach churn that causes you to lose the entire next day whilst you recover on the couch does seem like a strange way to have fun when you really think about it. 

Myself and my friend on the other hand; we had a very different experience. We danced all night, uninterrupted by constant toilet visits. We laughed our heads off about all the waisted, silly people around us who were making complete fools of themselves. We had real conversations that we actually remember having. Oh, and I cannot forget the hilarious moment when my friend pulled out from her handbag an old glitter g-string from the nineties and threw it on stage at Richard Clapton. The security guard and back up dancers were in absolute fits of laughter! It was such a funny moment, for those of us who were sober anyway. The rest of the crowd were too pissed to notice that it happened. Ahh, but they were the ones having fun, apparently…

When the night finished we hopped in the car -with our wallets full- and dignity intact. We talked and laughed the whole way home about the evening. I will say the only downfall was my poor old back can’t handle standing that long in heels anymore. I honestly don’t know how I used to dance all night in stilettos until sunrise. The very thought pains me. Nonetheless, I woke up this morning bright-eyed-and-bushy-tailed, ready to grab my day by the horns. I feel happy, I’ve had fun, and most importantly, I’ve woken up relieved that I never have to wake up feeling like shit ever again now that I’m sober. I never have to feel that awful dreaded feeling of “Oh fuck, what embarrassing shit did I do last night?” Geez, I honestly can’t tell you how bloody good that feels! 

You don’t realise it when you drink. You think you’re so much fun, that everyone around you also thinks that you’re fun. Together, all of you are having fun, fun, fun. But the truth of the matter is, that is not real fun at all. Because it isn’t built on real connection or cognitive ability. It’s only when you become sober that you realise just what a fallacy this whole “drinking is fun” nonsense truly is. It’s where you realise that all you were doing was trying to escape the uncomfortableness of being who and what you truly are. Yes, being seen without the mask can make your inhibitions grow loud. But, when you learn to get comfortable in that uncomfortableness, you soon let those inhibitions go… It’s a truly freeing place to be, and a fun one too!

I know many of you will still think that drinking makes you fun, that's ok. I just hope that one day you come to realise the truth; drinking hides who you really are, in fact, it makes you behave in ways that are completely out of your character. Drinking hurts you physically, mentally, and spiritually. It makes you completely lose who and what you truly are, and that my friends is actually really boring. You, the real you is fabulous, and so much more interesting than the imposter that takes over when you are drunk!

#drunk #drinking #soboring #sober #fun