International Men’s Day: Breaking the Silence Around Men’s Mental Health
- Stacey Sellars
- Nov 8
- 4 min read
As International Men’s Day (19 November) approaches, it’s time we open an honest conversation about something too often left unsaid — men’s mental health.
In today’s Western world, the pressure on men is relentless. They are expected to excel in their careers, provide for their families, maintain a beautiful home, drive a nice car, and ensure their children have all of the latest gadgets — and let’s not forget the annual overseas holiday to showcase it all.
But beneath the surface of this pursuit of success lies a silent struggle. The constant pressure to “have it all” weighs heavily on men’s shoulders. Combined with rising living costs, debt, and social expectations, it’s no surprise that male suicide rates remain significantly higher than those of women.
It raises a heartbreaking question: Why are so many men suffering in silence?
The Hidden Burden: The Cost of Being “The Provider”
Even in households with dual incomes, many men still feel a deep, internalised responsibility to be the primary provider. It’s a role society has long assigned to them — one that has become ingrained in their identity and self-worth.
When financial strain hits or life doesn’t go to plan, some men interpret these challenges as a personal failure. They feel emasculated, ashamed, and disconnected from the image of strength they believe they must uphold.
For women, emotional struggles are often shared — we talk, cry, and lean on one another. For many men, however, the instinct is to withdraw. They turn inward, burying their pain under layers of pride, fear, and silence.
Substance Use: The Silent Numbing of Emotional Pain
Another heartbreaking reality is the growing number of men turning to alcohol, drugs, or other substances as a way to cope with overwhelming emotions.
Society has taught men to suppress their feelings rather than process them. From a young age, boys are told to “man up,” “toughen up,” and “don’t cry.” Vulnerability has been mislabelled as weakness — when in truth, it’s one of the strongest things a person can show.
Without healthy emotional outlets, many men resort to numbing themselves. A drink after work becomes two, then three — until it’s no longer about enjoyment but about escape. Temporary relief soon turns into dependency, masking deeper pain that desperately needs attention and compassion.
If we as a society truly care about men’s wellbeing, we must redefine what strength means. Real strength lies not in hiding your emotions, but in confronting them.
A Personal Perspective: The Pain Behind the Silence
In my time working as an undertaker, I attended many heartbreaking scenes of suicide. I met families moments after they discovered their loved one had taken his own life. Time and time again, I heard the same words:
“I knew he was stressed, but he wouldn’t talk to anyone.” “If only he’d told me how bad things were — we could have gotten through it together.”
These words cut deeply, every single time. They’re a painful reminder that silence kills.
The “macho” stigma surrounding men sharing their emotions continues to rob families of fathers, brothers, sons, and friends. It’s time for this to end.
A Message to Men: You Are Not Alone
To all the men reading this — please hear this clearly: you are not weak for feeling. You are human.
Women do not see emotional openness as a sign of weakness. In fact, we admire it. We wish you would unburden yourselves of the impossible pressure to always be “fine.”
A problem shared truly is a problem halved. Speak to your partner, a trusted friend, or a professional counsellor. If you don’t know where to start, organisations like Lifeline (13 11 14) and Beyond Blue (1300 22 4636) are here for you, 24/7.
If you’re reading this from outside Australia, seek out your local mental health helpline. You deserve support, no matter where you are.
Learning to Feel Again
We must teach our sons — and remind our men — that emotions are not enemies. They are signals asking for understanding and care.
Instead of numbing pain through substances, avoidance, or distraction, we need to encourage healthier ways to process emotions:
Talking about what’s really going on with a friend or professional
Exercising or moving the body to release tension
Journalling or creative expression
Seeking any form of energy healing such as kinesiology or homeopathy
Practising mindfulness or breathwork
When we start teaching men to feel, instead of flee, we begin to heal generations of emotional suppression.
Final Thoughts: This Too Shall Pass
To every man struggling right now — remember, what feels unbearable today will not feel this way forever. Every storm eventually passes, and every burden becomes lighter when shared.
This International Men’s Day, let’s not just celebrate men — let’s support them. Let’s encourage open conversation, emotional healing, and a new definition of masculinity that honours vulnerability as strength.
Because the truth is: real men feel. Real men talk. Real men heal.
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