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The ego  loves whatever is comfortable , regardless of whether that comfortability makes us miserable  or not!   This is because one of the ego’s main functions  is to determine if something is “safe”  for us or not, and it can only do so from recalling past data . Data that has either been personally experienced, or data that has been observed by watching another. The problem with this is that every single experience is unique and the outcome is dependent on a whole gamut of

For many years my life was filled with chaos, drama, and a string of bad relationships, both romantically and platonically.    It didn’t matter who came into my life, the same pattern always seemed to play out; me over giving and over sharing, which always resulted in me feeling hurt, used and abused. For years I stayed trapped in this cycle because I believed that I was just a product of bad luck. I truly felt that I was a hard-done-by victim. I was placing all of the blame

It’s very easy to judge and condemn someone for bad behaviour with indignant contempt. But the truth is, most people aren’t born bad; they usually have a back story filled with all sorts of horrific, unresolved trauma from childhood. When we look at the root causes of violence, addiction, or destructive behaviour in adults, childhood trauma  is almost always at the core. I’ve been reading this non-fiction book called “The Ice Man” . It’s the story of a man who became a contra