Who’s Running Your Life - You Or Your Ego?

The ego loves whatever is comfortable, regardless of whether that comfortability makes us miserable or not!

This is because one of the ego’s main functions is to determine if something is “safe” for us or not, and it can only do so from recalling past data. Data that has either been personally experienced, or data that has been observed by watching another. The problem with this is that every single experience is unique and the outcome is dependent on a whole gamut of different variables; we can never truly know how an experience will unfold because of these unique variables.

The other major problem with our ego is that it has absolutely no foresight, meaning: it is incapable of seeing the bigger picture of a situation. It can only determine if something is safe or not for us at that very moment. Unfortunately, this is where the ego’s functionality really gets us humans into a lot of trouble!

Because the ego can only base its decisions on past data, unfortunately, this means that any choice that is laid before us that is new will automatically be deemed as a threat by our ego. This is why people stay in miserable and toxic relationships, in a job they hate, or living in a country they despise – it’s familiar, it’s comfortable, and therefore, the ego determines it as the “safe” option. This is why anything that we try to do that is new, often feels so bloody scary!

Unfortunately, most of the population are living on autopilot; not knowing or understanding how the ego works, not knowing that it is consciousness complacency that is allowing the human-self-ego to sit in the driver's seat of your life, or that you can consciously programme yourself, your soul-self, to override the ego’s poor decision making!

It’s important to note here that this is not the individual’s fault, society is absolutely geared by its structure – the education system, to the medical industry, to the instant gratification consumerism model – all of it is designed to weaken the individual’s soul-self (intuition, inner guidance, connection to a higher power) so that the ego is the one in the driver’s seat of your life – making all of the short-sighted decisions that keep you trapped in a miserable life.

You might ask why the patriarchy has designed the system to be like this? It’s simple: control. You cannot control someone who has their soul-self sitting in the driver’s seat. You can only control someone who is being driven by the autopilot of their ego! Now, our ego is a very important function to help navigate the human world. We do need it to help us determine real immediate threats like if a car is about to hit us. But, its role should only be a complimentary role to our soul-self. It should be the passenger NOT the driver!

As I mentioned before you can learn to override the ego’s control, but it takes time, practice and a lot of consistent conscious awareness, and effort. I’m not going to lie and make out it’s easy – the ego is a very powerful driving force over our human psyche! But if you continue to train your soul-self and build strength in it, like you would a muscle in strength training, then you will get to a place where the fear created by your ego is no longer making short-sighted decisions for you.

I’ll give the example of me who was stuck in the cycle of a toxic relationship for years and years. I loved this man dearly, and he loved me. We had a strong connection as friends and lovers, but we were not right for each other. I’d cut him out of my life because deep down I knew I deserved to be treated better. But every few years he’d somehow end up back in my life. My ego would always convince me to go back to him. Why? Because the familiarity felt safe to my ego. My ego would always convince me that this time would be different, that he would change, and we’d live happily ever after. But it was always the same old shit. I had to train my soul-self to override my ego’s need for familiarity.

I learnt to recognise how the ego works, and how it feels when there’s a battle between the ego and soul-self. The ego will always try to convince you that something will be different this time even though all of the past evidence says otherwise. It works to trick you because its main goal is to get you back to what feels familiar. Familiar is safety to the ego. It cannot see long-term pain, it only sees the pain that is happening right in that moment. So, if you are agonising about whether a past love is right or wrong for you, the ego will tell you that past love is right because choosing to go back to that relationship will momentarily stop the immediate emotional discomfort.

This is a HUGE part of why people go back to violent relationships, have a drug relapse, or anything else that is actually really bad for them in the long-term. The ego cannot see the long-term consequences. This is why we have to train ourselves to become conscious in our decision making. The most important factor that helped me finally break free from that unhealthy relationship was training myself to:

• Sit in the uncomfortableness of my immediate emotions.

• Ask myself questions like: what consequences will this decision have in the long-term?

• Do I really want to repeat this unhealthy pattern again when I know it brings me long-term pain?

This is the most important part of the training. Not acting on the impulse of our ego, that’s the unconscious autopilot running your mind, and your life. You must STOP, breathe, and consciously think about what is going to happen past this moment of uncomfortableness…

This is easier said than done in the beginning. Initially, even when you stop and think about the long-term consequences, the impulse of your ego will still win out. But with practice and mental strength training you will get better at this. Occasionally, this man I loved for so long still pops into my mind, and my ego will pine for him. But now my soul-self immediately overrides my ego by thinking about what’s really going on here. My soul-self is strong enough now to make me see the truth of the matter: I deserve better. He and I actually have nothing in common anymore, and if I was with him I’d be completely and utterly miserable. And with those few rapid thoughts from my soul-self, my ego is quickly put back into the passenger seat, and my feelings of uncomfortableness were nothing more than a fleeting moment without long-term consequences.

Yes, it can be extremely painful to feel our emotions in the moment that they bubble to the surface, but I promise you that they are nowhere near as painful as the consequences of allowing your ego to sit in the driver’s seat of your life.

It’s time to get uncomfortable, feel the fear of the now, and break free from the control of your ego, reclaim your conscious power, and take back the driver’s seat of your life.  

#EgoVsSoulSelf #EgoAwareness #OvercomingEgo #ConsciousLiving #SpiritualAwakening #EmotionalHealing #SelfAwarenessJourney #InnerHealing #ShadowWork #SpiritualGrowth #ConsciousAwareness #SubconsciousMind #BreakFreeFromPatterns #ToxicRelationshipHealing #TraumaHealingJourney #IntuitionAwakening #PersonalTransformation #MindsetHealing #SelfMastery #AwakenYourSoul #InnerWorkJourney #HealingFromWithin #ConsciousDecisionMaking #SpiritualPsychology #ReclaimYourPower